You want a browser that doesn't use all your RAM.Firefox is a memory hog.
You want a secure browser.
Internet Explorer is not secure.
You want a fast browser.
Opera is fast, but not that fast.
You want a cross-platform browser.
Safari is definitely not cross-platform.
You want a browser that doesn't care about JavaScript.
Netscape cares about JavaScript - they invented JavaScript.
Presenting you Google Browser, a fast, versatile and secure text browser for the Internet. Google Browser is free, already out of beta, and the installer has only 1.68 MB.
Just open it, type g (that's from Google), enter a URL, press enter and visit the web through Google's eyes.
Download Windows version
Download Mac version
Download Linux version
Tutorial
Google mentions that Linux users should compile the downloaded package. Google Browser is the first major Google software released for Linux.
Note: This post was written for the April Fools' Day, so there's no Google Browser. At least not yet.